You Can’t Go Through the Type of Year My Family Did Without It Changing You

In every month of 2021, someone that either I or one of my children knew became a victim or survivor of gun violence.

You can’t go through the type of year my family did without it changing you. Whether you have witnessed an act of gun violence, been threatened or wounded with a gun, or someone you knew and cared for was wounded or killed, survivors are part of the club that no one wants to join. Now, I am a survivor of domestic violence that involved a firearm, which almost took my life. Many of my friends and family members have been wounded or killed by gun violence, including an ex-partner—with whom I was still very close—who died by suicide using a firearm.

That tragic period in my life made it clear that gun violence in the United States is an epidemic. Like any other public health crisis, I wanted to do my part to help address its root causes and find solutions. That’s why I joined Moms Demand Action.

As the North Carolina Moms Demand Action chapter co-lead, I do everything I can to educate people about the reality of gun violence in the U.S. I meet with collaborators from across the country to learn evidence-based violence intervention strategies that might work in my community. And I spend much of my time talking about the nationwide impacts of gun violence. 

But even though gun violence affects every person in America, the weight of this public health crisis is not felt equally. Generations of discrimination and disinvestment in certain communities have exacerbated the gun violence crisis in a way that disproportionately impacts historically marginalized communities. In the U.S., 71 percent of Black adults or someone they know or care about has experienced gun violence in their lifetimes.¹SurveyUSA, “Results of SurveyUSA Market Research Study #26602,” October 24, 2022, https://bit.ly/3JJuwLY. See question 29. See also Everytown for Gun Safety Support Fund, “Gun Violence Survivors in America,” February 1, 2023, https://everytownresearch.org/report/gun-violence-survivors-america/. That’s why we must center Black survivors in every facet of the gun violence prevention movement. We need researchers, lawmakers, community organizations, and other thought partners to help end this public health crisis. But most of all, we need to listen to the people closest to the impacts, causes, and solutions to gun violence. 

I take every chance I can to meet with other gun violence survivors and trailblazers to hear their stories. And their resilience, strength, and determination sustain my courage. I am grateful to be in this work with them as we partner to change the outcomes of gun violence in North Carolina.

Too often, the hard work of Black people—including Black gun violence survivors—goes unacknowledged. During Black History Month, I amplify the voices of survivors and trailblazers. I want people to see the meaningful work that Black folks are doing in North Carolina and beyond. And then, I want them to join, build upon, or sustain the good work that is already happening. 

Everyone can do something to end gun violence, and gun violence prevention comes in many forms. Not sure where to start? Try:

• Volunteering to transform a space or mentoring youth in your community,
• Donating to community-based organizations in your area,
• Educating yourself about the causes of—and solutions to—gun violence,
• Exploring the Everytown Support Fund initiatives to become part of the solutions to gun violence, or
• Joining your local Moms Demand Action group: We’ll be the ones in the red shirts.