My Best Friend Was Stolen by Gun Violence. I’m Honoring Her Memory With Action.

On August 26, 2024, my best friend was shot and killed by her ex-partner in a homicide-suicide at Rice University.

Andrea Joseline Rodríguez Ávila was truly one of a kind. She was compassionate and always sought to uplift those around her. Her life was stolen by gun violence, and her family, friends, and I are completely devastated. We are keenly aware that the effects of gun violence don’t end when the trigger is pulled—its consequences can last a lifetime. 

Andrea’s death leaves an irreplaceable gap in so many lives, including my own. We first met while attending The Community College of Baltimore County and grew closer during a summer research program at Johns Hopkins University. During the program, we lived in the same building for three months, spending our time working, having fun, and growing even closer.

The following year, we flew across the country to California, where we spent a few days together. I will never forget how adventurous she was. She always wanted to explore. Her desire to see as many places as possible took us to many different states together. Andrea was fearless, curious, joyful, determined, and resilient—and I loved that about her.

Andrea’s death led me on a journey of grief and reflection about the state of our country. I moved to the United States at twelve, and it didn’t take long to see how deeply gun violence affects this country—something my generation is very familiar with. Eight of the 10 deadliest mass shootings in modern U.S. history have occurred in my lifetime. Schools, movie theaters, places of worship, and malls—spaces that should have been safe—became sites of tragedy instead.

Those shootings, while horrific in number, represent only a fraction of the gun violence that occurs daily in the U.S. Gun violence takes so many other forms, including:

• Suicide with a firearm
• Gun homicides
• Domestic violence or intimate partner violence using a firearm—the tragedy that stole Andrea’s life.

In many cases, these forms of gun violence intersect, as they did in Andrea’s tragic death at the hands of a former partner. On average, more than once per day in the United States, a tragedy occurs where a perpetrator kills an intimate partner, and then dies by suicide themself. These shootings forever alter the lives of those who are left behind.

Time and time again, I have seen people respond to gun violence—of any form—in disparate ways. Some people call for common-sense reform and regulation, while others argue that doing so will infringe on their Second Amendment rights. But these arguments only distract people from the real issue: innocent people are dying. I am committed to working toward ending gun violence by advocating for common-sense public safety policies that can save lives. I have witnessed intimate partner violence in my own home, struggled with the challenges it brought, and now I have lost my best friend to that same violence—amplified by a gun. I’m ready to say that enough is enough.

I sought out Students Demand Action because the organization recognizes the intersection between gun violence and intimate partner violence and promotes social progress through common-sense gun laws. Students Demand Action understands the importance of building a safer future where people don’t have to live in constant fear of gun violence, and I’m proud to be honoring Andrea’s memory as part of this movement. While nothing can undo what happened to her, I hope to turn my grief into action, ensuring that her story is never forgotten.

I am determined to speak out about the intersection between intimate partner violence and gun violence. This February, during Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (TDVAM), I’m helping my peers recognize the warning signs. However, the most effective way to raise awareness is to continue these conversations beyond February. We must ensure that teens and adults can recognize the signs of an abusive relationship. We need to provide the tools and interventions to help people in danger safely exit these situations. When guns are involved, the risk of life-threatening injury or death at the hands of an abusive partner increases. In fact, women are five times more likely to die if their abusive partner has access to a gun.¹Campbell, J. C., and et al. (2003). “Risk factors for femicide in abusive relationships: results from a multisite case control study”. American Journal of Public Health. (2003). https://doi.org/10.2105/ajph.93.7.1089 Connecting these issues highlights the need to protect everyone, including young people, from violence.

Too often, the topic of abuse is only discussed in the context of adults, particularly those living in the same household. However, intimate partner violence can affect anyone, at any age, and in any relationship. A study commissioned by Love is Respect found that 43 percent of dating college women report experiencing violent and abusive dating behaviors.

Many people assume that abuse is limited to physical or sexual violence, making it “easy” to recognize. In reality, abuse can take many forms, including:

• Physical
• Sexual
• Psychological
• Verbal
• Financial

The signs are often subtle, making them hard for victims and their loved ones to identify. Teens are especially vulnerable to abusive relationships because they are still learning about healthy boundaries and what constitutes respectful behavior. They may not recognize the warning signs early on. Teens may struggle to express emotions in a healthy way due to repressed feelings or learned abusive behaviors from their families or past relationships. Shaming people for their experiences is never the answer. Instead, we should normalize seeking help to heal and build healthier relationships. Our environment can shape how we interact with others, but it doesn’t have to define us. We can always learn, grow, and break free from unhealthy patterns.

The best advice I can give anyone concerned about someone’s relationship is to reach out to the person and offer help in whatever way you can. Abusers often try to isolate their victims from all forms of support. If you notice that the person suddenly avoids talking about their partner or seems to be closing themselves off from you, this could be a sign. Simply reaffirming that you are there to support them—no matter what—can make a big difference. In these situations, always prioritize your own safety.

If you recognize you are experiencing abuse or feel unsafe in your relationship, tell a trusted adult. They can help you find resources to safely leave and end the relationship. Remember, experiencing abuse is never your fault. Leaving an abusive relationship isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary for your safety. Once you’re in a safe place with someone you trust, you can file a police report to document the events in case you need a restraining order or other protection.

I am heartbroken that Andrea’s life was stolen by an abusive partner in a senseless act of gun violence. I will do everything in my power to ensure that no one else’s story ends like hers. Grieving someone so close to me has not been easy, and some days, I don’t want to believe she’s really gone. Andrea had a vision for the future, and I have no doubt she would have made a lasting impact on the world. It is unbearable that my best friend will always be a memory.

Andrea was a compassionate and inspiring leader, a mentor who created meaningful change and left a lasting impact on every community she touched. She took great pride in her Latina and immigrant identity and recognized the importance of creating opportunities that pave the way for an equitable future.

In honor of Andrea, whose life was tragically cut short, I created a scholarship fund. I want other students to have the opportunity to pursue higher education, use their knowledge, and make a difference—just as she did. The scholarship fund will support community college students transferring to a four-year university to pursue their bachelor’s degree. While it is open to all students who meet the criteria, the fund is intended for students from marginalized backgrounds, such as: 

• Racial and ethnic minorities, 
• LGBTQ+ individuals, 
• People with disabilities, 
• Individuals with vulnerable immigration status, and 
• Others who have faced barriers.

Violence ended Andrea’s life far too soon. She had so many dreams that were never realized. Through this scholarship fund, I hope others can pursue their dreams and live life to the fullest. I know Andrea would have loved seeing others have the opportunity to make the world a better place—and she would have been cheering them on every step of the way.

If you would like to contribute to the scholarship fund in Andrea’s name to help support a student’s education journey, please email [email protected] to get in touch.